Thank god the weekend is over

 

People say its sin to lose your temper. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you…” (Ephesians 4:32) .

 

When we lose our temper, we say and do things which we almost certainly regret later. And more often then not, we end up hurting our dear ones. I can count the number of times I’ve lost my temper in last few years. So much so, that my friends accuse me of being emotionless. My best friend says she doesn’t want to be like me – she thinks we need to be emotional at times.

 

In fact, not very long ago, I did admit to her that at times its better to be an emotional fool rather then being a practical stupid. Specially after the realisation that we all act super cool at times.

 

I like the fact that I can ignore most of the things around me. I know how to differentiate between important and small things. Small and meaningless issues have never bothered me. At times I wonder if anything affects me emotionally?

 

I’m not sure it was because of this or something else, but I lost my temper 4 times during the weekend. Not surprisingly, it turned out to be a horrible weekend.

 

First of all, I had a fight with Ships (my best friend) over a stupid issue. Guess she was in a bad mood (she always is these days). And I was not in a great mood either. In fact, the whole week was very frustrating. It being a Diwali week, nobody was working which delayed few of my jobs. There were few other issues which added to make it a ‘zero output’ week overall (both professionally & personally).

 

And when Ships opposed a suggestion, specially when I had just returned after another frustrating day at work, I lost it completely. Thankfully, both of us didn’t try to solve it then and there and only few messages were exchanged.

 

So, when I got a call from the lady with the hot legs who wanted to hijack me again for a drive at around midnight, I gladly accepted (not that she gives me a choice anyways). In fact, during the course of the day, we have had a “SMS fight” already and we had exchanged few nasty messages.

 

What I didn’t know was that she wanted to sort it out during the drive. I was already in a very bad mood and the last thing I wanted was a matured and serious discussion (I’m not justifying myself – in fact I was being unreasonable). In short, the long drive was a disaster.

 

And just when I thought the worst was already over, I had a terrible fight with a friend who is an air hostess and was in town for the weekend. So much so, that she walked out of my house slamming the door on my face.

 

And to add salt to my wound, I had a terrible argument with my cousin over buying a LCD TV.

 

To be honest, I don’t remember when was the last time I fought with people. I do admit that I’ve started losing my temper more often now, but then I don’t react most of the times. I prefer ignoring things but this weekend was an exception. Whatever the reasons were, I know I was in a very bad mood.

 

Though for some reason, I’ve a feeling that I’m still not in a very good mood. But thankfully, nobody has poked me yet. And I promise I’ll try and behave. These guys know me too well to remain upset for long (all four of them are ok now). But maybe, someone wouldn’t take my nonsense. Hopefully, that someone will not meet me anytime soon – because I’ve a feeling a big fight is just round the corner.

My ex girlfriend’s birthday

Last Wednesday (30^th July), I was working till late, went home after office, had dinner and then went out for coffee with a friend late night. Now you will ask me whats different in this. We all go home after work, have dinner and at times go out on coffee dates. So whats so special about it?

Well, its the date – 30^th July. Now you will ask me whats so special about 30^th July? All you music fanatics might tell me that Elvis Presley made his debut as a public performer on this day in 1954, or the world’s longest running music show, ‘Top of the Pops’ was broadcasted for the last time on BBC on this day. The Soccer fans might remember this as a date when the German great Jurgen Klinsmann was born.

 

There would definitely be more significant as well as insignificant events that occurred on this day. For me, well, its one of my ex girlfriend’s birthday. Now again, you will ask me whats the big deal (after all, she is my ex girlfriend). To be honest, its no big deal. Not anymore! But why I even bothered to think about it is because it signifies the very basic rule of life – that people come and go but life goes on.

 

I have so many memories attched to this day – good, bad and ugly. From saving for almost a year to buy a gift - to buying her everything she wanted - to exchanging ugly messages (i still cant believe we stooped to such level).

 

Now when I look back at those years, I don’t regret anything. In fact, few months ago when I went to Goa and stayed at the same place where I stayed with her few years ago (in fact I got the same room), I somehow felt good about the good old days.

 

Few of my friends still pull my leg asking “Bhai tu senti tho nahi hai na?” And I smile at them. The fact is that I’ve been with few other women after that and hardly even think about any of my past relationships.

 

Once, a very famous actor, who had had many relationships, and hence heartbreaks, was asked if he could name the one who he thought was the best. He simply smiled and said, ‘The next one.’

 

On a more serious note, its difficult to compare. From my first relationship till the last one, there have been highs and lows in each and everyone of them. And everyone was special. Its just that few of them had a bigger impact on my life then the others.

 

The first one will always be very special. I’ve hardly met a person who was liked by almost everyone. She was everyone’s darling and I’ve seen her making a difference in people’s life. Though we are hardly in touch but I know that she is doing well and is happy in life. And I know for sure that she wil not only be happy herself, but will make life better for everyone around her.

 

Once I started working, I dated a lot of women (I was trying to move on after the break up with the one whose birthday was on 30^th July). And trust me, I had a great time then. I was traveling a lot those days and I made friends all over. It was then that I met this lady for a coffee date. All I can say is that she was very very special. I have never been so relaxed and content in my life.

 

Okay - we are not here to discuss my girlfriends (to be honest, I dont even know the point I’m trying to make here – just felt like writing).

 

A very good friend of mine keep asking me which one is my favorite gift ( though I feel he has no right to ask me that specially when he himself has 4-5 watches gifted to him by his different girlfriends).

 

And to be honest, I don’t have a favorite. My Armani watch is as close to my heart as my Timex or Titan or Swatch or the Tommy. The Titto Bluni perfume bottle is still kept next to the Ferrari, CK and Hugo Boss perfumes. My 8 years old Rayban glasses are still as new as my Guess or the Polaroid Sunglasses.

 

They all are very close to my heart. But maybe the most precious one is a piece of paper which says, ‘Smile – someone loves you’. I’ve been carrying it in my wallet for more then 10 years now and it still makes me smile. 

 

I have my share of women (at times I was dumped after the first date itself All of them were different from each other (that means I still don’t know what am I looking for). From Pujabis to Sindhis to Bengali to Christan to even a Firang. From a student to a divorcee, from an air hostess to a news presenter. All different from each other. And if you ask me to tell you their birthdays - I can only say a few. I hardly remember 4-5 of them.

 

And thats why 30^th July was an important day. And why I chose to write about it is because nothing important or different happened that day. It went by like any other day. In fact, nobody even wished me happy birthday (till last year, my friends used to tease me). Everyone seems to have forgotten about this girlfriend of mine. They have new ones to tease me with. Maybe, next year even I’ll forget about it or will be busy preparing for somebody else’s birthday.

 

But who cares? I’m already thinking about my birthday. Last four years, I’ve spent my birthdays with four different women (never knowing that it would be my last birthday with her). I still have a couple of month to go before my birthday. And I’m still not sure whom to celebrate it with.

 

I haven’t celebrated my birthday with my parents for more then 10 years now. Maybe, the time has come to spend the whole day with them. Because the women might change every year, but they will always be with me on my birthday.

 Amen!