My first Armani Suit

 

There is nothing better then a mid-week holiday. So, when Thursday was declared a holiday, I decided to spend the whole day at home. I got up late and was still reading the newspaper when one of my friends called to ask if I wanted to join her for lunch at her place. Last Sunday, I had lunch at her place and I loved the home made food there.

 

So I dragged myself to her place for lunch which was simple but delicious. We watched some TV and were planning to go for a movie when she asked me if I wanted to go for a ‘wine & cheese’ event in town. And before I could come up with any excuse, she told that the event was for customers of ‘Armani’ and she got an invite for it. And to top it all, there were special offers on Armani products.

 

Needless to say, it was an offer I couldn’t resist. And all my thoughts of savings and not overspending went for a toss. And all of a sudden, I wanted to own an Armani Suit.

 

My friend wasn’t surprised to see my sudden enthusiasm. In fact, she told me that the moment she got the invite, she thought of me. I had once told her how I arrived at a major decision of my life when I was confused. The situation was straight out of Robert Frost’s poem – The Road not taken (which also happens to be my all time favorite along with Rudyard Kipling’s ‘If’)

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference 

Then (it was almost a decade ago), I told myself that if I start wearing ‘Armani’ and ‘Versace’, and drive a Mercedes, I’ll be able to justify my decision to myself. And from then onwards, I never needed an inspiration. I always knew what I wanted to achieve.

But somewhere down the line, I forgot about it. Instead of looking at what I wanted few years down the line, I started looking at the day to day struggle and other meaningless things.

Till around a year ago, my immediate goal was to buy a house. Then somewhere down the line, I lost track and started thinking about little joys in life like a small / mid size Car or an expensive watch.

But suddenly, when my friend told me that we shall go and buy an Armani Suit for myself, I closed my eyes and pictured myself in an Armani Suit. And suddenly I realised that I was day-dreaming after a very long time.

Though we didn’t find the perfect fit when we went there, and hence I didn’t buy anything; I’m not disappointed at all. Because I know that I will have my first Armani Suit very soon. Because that night, when I closed my eyes, I saw myself – slightly matured but more lively and passionate, coming back from work after a hectic but eventful day, wearing an Armani Suit and driving my Mercedes to reach my own house.

 

When did an Omega become a necessity?

 

“Not understanding life, we think objects will fill us, but its a cycle. A never ending wants for materials, that fill us for a second and leave us empty, wanting more”

 

Yesterday, I bought an expensive sofa-cum-double bed for myself. This was an addition to an expensive double door wardrobe which I bought last month. I’m also contemplating buying an LCD TV this weekend. I have also ‘almost’ bought a car few times before changing my mind at the last moment.

 

Infact, last week I was discussing the idea of buying a car (finally) with my friend and she asked me why wasn’t I buying a “Big car”. I guess she’s almost convinced me to buy a big car now (and I have a feeling its gonna be very very soon).

 

What it also means is that soon I’ll have all the ‘basic necessities” that a man needs to live. I already have the basics like an AC, refrigerator, washing machine, etc. In fact, I have two washing machines as i recently replaced my semi automatic washing machine with a fully automatic one (its easier to handle then the semi automatic one).

 

And yesterday, while lying on my new comfortable double bed, I was thinking that now I almost have all the basic necessities required to set up a house. And the next step would be my own house (my big dream).

 

And suddenly, for some reason, my Pune life flashed before my eyes. The best years of my life and I did well without the so called ‘basic necessities’ of life. For so many years, I slept on a matress, washed my own cloths, never even thought about an AC or a refrigerator, and roamed around the city on my bike. And those were the best years of my life. Its not that I couldn’t afford all these, but I never needed them to make my life better (or to feel that my life is better). I was anyways just too happy and at peace with my mind.

 

And then it struck me – when did an AC, refrigerator, expensive wardrobe and bed, washing machine and big car became the ‘basic necessities”? And lets be honest – almost all of treat these things as basic necessities these days.

 

And its not only about a car or a washing machine. I cannot speak for everyone but I can see my approach changing. Just to give you an example, the other day I was at a mall and I liked a Guess watch. But I didn’t buy it because I know my next watch is going to be an Omega. And don’t even ask me why – I myself don’t know. There was a time when I use to flaunt my Timex watch (though its still one of my favorites). But now when I go out for dinners and parties, I don’t even feel like wearing the Swatch or the Tommy watch. For some weird reason it has to be an Armani or a Rado or an Omega (and I don’t even know when did I start thinking like that).

 

I remember my friends in college always used to say that I smell good all the time. Thanks to the Park Avenue perfumes I used to buy from NDA canteen at a subsidized rate. And now my wardrobe consist of Armani, Varsace, Ferrari and Hugo perfumes but nobody has complimented me on it.

 

The other day, my cousin was in town. He wanted a shirt and I asked him to check the wardrobe and take whatever he likes. After few minutes, he came back and said-

“I’m confused. How do you decide what do you want to wear? Bro, when I have to go out, I wear one of 3 denims that I have, wear my only belt with the black shoes and one of the few t-shirts that I have. And I’m all set for the party. You have dozens of shirts, trousers, t-shirts, more then 50 ties, almost a dozen belts and even more footwear. How the hell do you decide? My life is so much better then yours.”

 

And I realised what he was saying made sense. I’m slowly getting into a trap and there is no end to it. I’ve started believing that these luxuries are necessities. I’m not saying that I should not buy an Omega watch or a big car. But the moment these become necessities, the joy of having arrived gives way to satisfaction (I’m not even sure if it gives me any satisfaction) of getting something which anyways was the basic necessity.

 

What it also means is that I’m not appreciating whatever I have and I’m yearning for more. There is no harm in dreaming big and aspiring for the luxuries of life. But then you should learn to appreciate whatever you have and enjoy it rather then march ahead for something better in life. Specially when you don’t even know what are you looking for finally.

 

There is no end to this. I’ll keep running after all these materialistic things in life and keep raising the bar for myself. Few years ago, if i was told that I’ll have a house with all the luxuries (or basic necessities – its how you look at it), wear designer cloths and accessories, drive my own car to party at the most expensive places in the town and swap my Platinum credit card for thousands of rupees without even thinking twice – I would have taken it gladly. It sounds like a perfect world – all that i ever dreamt of.

 

But today, I’m a slave of my own desire to get more of the materialistic world. And to be very honest, I don’t know why or for whom. Am I trying to prove a point to myself or to the world?

 

The best days of my life were spent without the expensive furnitures, AC, washing machines or a car. I was so comfortable in those lose fit old jeans and black shirts with the floaters. And I was no less a Tom Cruise myself in those inexpensive aviators sunglasses. And I took a few very pretty ladies out for coffee and dinner dates on my old bike.

 

And at the end, after the hectic but exciting day, I used to come back to my house and sleep on the mattress – happy, content and peaceful. I’m not sure if my new expensive sofa-cum-double bed will give me the same comfort and peace when I get back home after working hard the whole day so that i can pay for these basic necessities.

 

In the end, I’ll like to leave you all with the harsh reality of our lives – something that I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs (The rat race) also –

 

“Leaving the house in the morning, dressed in clothes that you bought on credit card for work, driving through the traffic in a car that you are still paying for, putting in petrol that you cannot afford, in order to get to the job that you hate but need it so badly so that you can pay for the clothes, car, petrol and the house that you leave empty the whole day, in order to live in it”

 

The rat race

From last few days I’ve been getting a lot of messages from various people,all asking the same question – “Pratyush,why aren’t you blogging these days?” Well,it has been a hectic week.I had an awesome weekend with my friends,bought a big double door wardrobe and something good has come up on the professional front.

I’ll tell you about the weekend party and my double door wardrobe later on (and I anyways don’t write about my professional life). I didn’t write anything all this while because i didn’t feel like. There was nothing I wanted to write or express my feelings about.

But then, today i got a message from one of my friends.

It said – “Leaving the house in the morning, dressed in clothes that you bought on credit card for work, driving through the traffic in a car that you are still paying for, putting in petrol that you cannot afford, in order to get to the job that you hate but need it so badly so that you can pay for the clothes, car, petrol and the house that you leave empty the whole day, in order to live in it”

Come to think off it guys - its so true! We are all part of a rat race and we all are running non-stop. We feel good about the fact that we are doing well in life, have enough money to lead a good life, wear branded cloths, spend thousands on weekends, buy expensive gifts for our family / girlfriends / boyfriends.

But the fact is that though these things make us feel good,they don’t guarantee happiness. I’ll give you a very simple example – My Mom is in town. She’s been here for almost 3 weeks now but I’ve only taken her out for dinner once. She doesn’t want to eat out. She has a very simple explaination for this. She says she is happier cooking for me. She can go out and eat anytime but she hardly gets to cook for me. Everyday, she makes my favorite dishes and serve me great food when i reach home. I also make sure that even if I go out in the evening, I don’t eat anything because I’ve the same logic – nothing compares to Mommy’s food.

So,do I need to earn lacs to get my Mommy’s food? The answer is no! I can go back to the small town where I came from, and live life king size in the same money that I’m getting now.

I love wearing my Armani watch. But I was much happier spending time with the beautiful lady who gifted me the watch. I like my new shoes but I would anyday prefer a long drive with the lady (who gifted me the shoes) over the shoes.

These days, I go out 3-4 times a week, party every weekend,meet new friends and then go out with them again. Few years ago,I was seeing this girl who lived very close to my World Trade Centre office. She would pick me up from my office after work and we would land up at her place just in time for an early dinner (home made food by her maid), watch TV, DVDs, play games,talk and sleep early. In almost a year when we were together, we hardly watched 10 movies, hardly went out for dinners (and that too, only to one place both of us loved), never went to a party together and never bought each other expensive gifts. We were just happy and content in our own world. And I’ve hardly felt better in my life.

2 weeks ago, I celebrated my birthday in a grand style. I threw a party at one of best places in the city, called all my friends and spent close to 30k in few hours. And yes, I felt good at the end of it. But I’m not very sure if I was happy (Birthday blues).

Now compare that to last weekend where all my friends came down from different places to spend the weekend together. we all went to our college in Pune and had a blast. And I’ve absolutely no doubts in my mind that it was one of the most memorable weekends I’ve had in recent times. And it didn’t require a “happening” place and a lot of money to get it right.

There are so many instances I can mention where small little things have made me happy ( pursuit of happiness). The bottomline is still the same – we need to figure out what makes us happy. And trust me, most of you will be surprised to find out that you too would prefer small little moments of happiness as compared to the mad race that we all have become a part of.

Time to sit back and introspect!

 

My ex girlfriend’s birthday

Last Wednesday (30^th July), I was working till late, went home after office, had dinner and then went out for coffee with a friend late night. Now you will ask me whats different in this. We all go home after work, have dinner and at times go out on coffee dates. So whats so special about it?

Well, its the date – 30^th July. Now you will ask me whats so special about 30^th July? All you music fanatics might tell me that Elvis Presley made his debut as a public performer on this day in 1954, or the world’s longest running music show, ‘Top of the Pops’ was broadcasted for the last time on BBC on this day. The Soccer fans might remember this as a date when the German great Jurgen Klinsmann was born.

 

There would definitely be more significant as well as insignificant events that occurred on this day. For me, well, its one of my ex girlfriend’s birthday. Now again, you will ask me whats the big deal (after all, she is my ex girlfriend). To be honest, its no big deal. Not anymore! But why I even bothered to think about it is because it signifies the very basic rule of life – that people come and go but life goes on.

 

I have so many memories attched to this day – good, bad and ugly. From saving for almost a year to buy a gift - to buying her everything she wanted - to exchanging ugly messages (i still cant believe we stooped to such level).

 

Now when I look back at those years, I don’t regret anything. In fact, few months ago when I went to Goa and stayed at the same place where I stayed with her few years ago (in fact I got the same room), I somehow felt good about the good old days.

 

Few of my friends still pull my leg asking “Bhai tu senti tho nahi hai na?” And I smile at them. The fact is that I’ve been with few other women after that and hardly even think about any of my past relationships.

 

Once, a very famous actor, who had had many relationships, and hence heartbreaks, was asked if he could name the one who he thought was the best. He simply smiled and said, ‘The next one.’

 

On a more serious note, its difficult to compare. From my first relationship till the last one, there have been highs and lows in each and everyone of them. And everyone was special. Its just that few of them had a bigger impact on my life then the others.

 

The first one will always be very special. I’ve hardly met a person who was liked by almost everyone. She was everyone’s darling and I’ve seen her making a difference in people’s life. Though we are hardly in touch but I know that she is doing well and is happy in life. And I know for sure that she wil not only be happy herself, but will make life better for everyone around her.

 

Once I started working, I dated a lot of women (I was trying to move on after the break up with the one whose birthday was on 30^th July). And trust me, I had a great time then. I was traveling a lot those days and I made friends all over. It was then that I met this lady for a coffee date. All I can say is that she was very very special. I have never been so relaxed and content in my life.

 

Okay - we are not here to discuss my girlfriends (to be honest, I dont even know the point I’m trying to make here – just felt like writing).

 

A very good friend of mine keep asking me which one is my favorite gift ( though I feel he has no right to ask me that specially when he himself has 4-5 watches gifted to him by his different girlfriends).

 

And to be honest, I don’t have a favorite. My Armani watch is as close to my heart as my Timex or Titan or Swatch or the Tommy. The Titto Bluni perfume bottle is still kept next to the Ferrari, CK and Hugo Boss perfumes. My 8 years old Rayban glasses are still as new as my Guess or the Polaroid Sunglasses.

 

They all are very close to my heart. But maybe the most precious one is a piece of paper which says, ‘Smile – someone loves you’. I’ve been carrying it in my wallet for more then 10 years now and it still makes me smile. 

 

I have my share of women (at times I was dumped after the first date itself All of them were different from each other (that means I still don’t know what am I looking for). From Pujabis to Sindhis to Bengali to Christan to even a Firang. From a student to a divorcee, from an air hostess to a news presenter. All different from each other. And if you ask me to tell you their birthdays - I can only say a few. I hardly remember 4-5 of them.

 

And thats why 30^th July was an important day. And why I chose to write about it is because nothing important or different happened that day. It went by like any other day. In fact, nobody even wished me happy birthday (till last year, my friends used to tease me). Everyone seems to have forgotten about this girlfriend of mine. They have new ones to tease me with. Maybe, next year even I’ll forget about it or will be busy preparing for somebody else’s birthday.

 

But who cares? I’m already thinking about my birthday. Last four years, I’ve spent my birthdays with four different women (never knowing that it would be my last birthday with her). I still have a couple of month to go before my birthday. And I’m still not sure whom to celebrate it with.

 

I haven’t celebrated my birthday with my parents for more then 10 years now. Maybe, the time has come to spend the whole day with them. Because the women might change every year, but they will always be with me on my birthday.

 Amen!