Too many coincidences??

I was reading about Ameila Earheart this weekend. In 1937, Amelia decided to become the first woman to fly around the world. The attempt wasn’t successful, making her a mysterious legend, but her dream and example as a female pilot showed that women can succeed in a man’s world. She had a difficult past and always maintained that her past experiences and people she met made her what she is today. She once said –

‘You can’t leave the past behind because its always showing up in every song you hear, every block you walk; but yet you never want to get rid of it because at times, for some reason, it’s where you want to be – the happier moments makes you happy even today. And sad moments are worth everything because you learn from them.’

I thought this was very interesting – and maybe true. But I didn’t think much about it and moved on to read more about her accomplishments and struggles. In between, I got a call from an old friend from Delhi who was in town and was trying to meet me for a couple of days now. For some reason, I had been avoiding her – not that I didn’t want to meet her but maybe I was too lazy to make an effort. But when she called again, I decided to meet her for lunch the next day.

I had a meeting in Lower Parel which I scheduled post lunch so that I could meet my friend for lunch and then proceed for the meeting from there. We decided to meet at Bandra at around noon.

When I was on my way to meet her, I crossed the Head Office of one of the leading MNC Banks in India. Its right next to my office so I see it almost everyday. But that day, when I saw it, I thought of what I read last night – and automatically, thought of my ‘connections’ with the Bank. It might sound like a very strange coincidence, but quite a few number of people who have been an important part of my life in the recent past, have been connected with this Bank one way or the other – including few of the ladies I have dated.

And till the time I reached Bandra, I was thinking about all of them and the good / bad times we have had together – some really nice memories. I realized that I’ve lost touch with almost all of them.

And when I met this friend of mine for lunch, I realized the mistake I was making by not meeting her. We were meeting almost after a year but we took off as if we meet every day. Both of us have some very good memories together In Mumbai as well as Delhi. We had such a good time that we decided to meet again after my meeting in Parel. I promised her that I’ll call her after the meeting and we will go to town together. Infact she dropped me till Parel on her way to town.

And while walking towards the meeting place, I was trying to figure out the reasons why I don’t try and stay in touch with her. Everytime I’ve met her, we have had a good time. But for some weird reasons, I hardly make an effort to stay in touch with her.

With these thoughts in my mind, when I suddenly looked around, I figured out that I was standing at a place where my best friend’s office was on one side, my ex girlfriend’s office on the other, and my ex Boss’s office was right in front of me.

And my first reaction was – Shit!! I shouldn’t be here (the only person I wanted to meet was my best friend). And just when I started walking quickly to get away from the place, I thought of them and asked myself – Why? All of them have had a major impact in my life at some point or the other, and why am I trying to avoid them?

I was still deep in my thoughts when I realized that my phone was ringing. And to my surprise, it was my Ex boss’s call (another coincidence?). I told him I was around and he called me for coffee. We sat for almost 30 minutes and I must say it was a very productive meeting.

After meeting him, I went for my meeting which lasted for almost an hour and when I came out of the meeting, I was very tired and the first thing that I did was to call my Delhi friend and told her that I won’t be meeting her (I guess I was again being myself – avoiding people for no reason).

I went to see my best friend in her office and after spending some time with her, I decided to get back to my office. And just when i came out of the complex, I noticed the building on the other side of the road. And first time in almost a year, I realized that one of my best friends during my college days works there in that building. She was one of my closest friends for almost 6-7 years before we stopped talking almost a year ago. And to be honest, I don’t know why. I never bothered to ask why she stopped calling me suddenly and I never called her to find out.

I was standing there for some time, not sure what to do. I was contemplating calling her when I realized it was her birthday the next day. So I decided to call her the next day – and I knew I have to meet her soon. She is too good a friend to lose without any reason. And as an Irish proverb says – ‘ The best looking glass is the eye of a true friend. Never lose them’.

And on my way back, I was thinking about Amelia Earheart’s views on the past memories and wondering if it had something to do with all the coincidences during the day. It had indeed been a very strange day. In few hours, circumstances brought me face to face with lots of missing links in my life. Few of my closest friends, girlfriends, colleagues, and others who were an important part of my life once.

I thought of a couple of them and the manner in which we parted ways. Things could have been better. I remember reading a book long ago which ended with these words – ‘Now they ignore each other and look the other way. But they both know deep down inside that it wasn’t supposed to end this way.’ I always thought it was the saddest possible ending. Somewhere down the line I managed doing it to myself. I could have done better, or I can still make it better.

I’m sure I’ll meet these guys someday in life. And I know its going to be good. Because you just cannot erase the memories that you share with your loved ones before you said good-bye to them. And George Bernard Shaw once said -

‘Don’t be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends or were ever close to each other’s hearts.’

 

When do you know its over?

 

1. When you don’t find her number in last dialled list

2. When you get irritated if you don’t find a place for your shoes on the shoe rack

3. When you start thinking her friend is this fat bitch who doesn’t like you

4. When you start preferring Sports Bar over Poison (disc)

5. When you suddenly discover the difference between a “classy” dress and an “expensive” dress

6. When she starts looking fat in that short black dress

7. When you suddenly don’t find her “love handles” hot

8. When you start finding her “drop the towel” act silly

9. When you start thinking her “Me on top” approach is too aggressive

10. When you suddenly discover that things that were “out of this world” till recently, give a “dirty” feeling now

11. When you find her “jump on you” act too heavy to handle

12. When all you want to do is hug her and sleep

13. When you start thinking that she should get up first and make tea for you

14. When you had a tough time remembering her birthday

15. And last but not the least, when you don’t feel like having coffee with her

Then my friend, you know its over between you and your girlfriend..or should I say ex girlfriend.

 

 

My ex girlfriend’s birthday

Last Wednesday (30^th July), I was working till late, went home after office, had dinner and then went out for coffee with a friend late night. Now you will ask me whats different in this. We all go home after work, have dinner and at times go out on coffee dates. So whats so special about it?

Well, its the date – 30^th July. Now you will ask me whats so special about 30^th July? All you music fanatics might tell me that Elvis Presley made his debut as a public performer on this day in 1954, or the world’s longest running music show, ‘Top of the Pops’ was broadcasted for the last time on BBC on this day. The Soccer fans might remember this as a date when the German great Jurgen Klinsmann was born.

 

There would definitely be more significant as well as insignificant events that occurred on this day. For me, well, its one of my ex girlfriend’s birthday. Now again, you will ask me whats the big deal (after all, she is my ex girlfriend). To be honest, its no big deal. Not anymore! But why I even bothered to think about it is because it signifies the very basic rule of life – that people come and go but life goes on.

 

I have so many memories attched to this day – good, bad and ugly. From saving for almost a year to buy a gift - to buying her everything she wanted - to exchanging ugly messages (i still cant believe we stooped to such level).

 

Now when I look back at those years, I don’t regret anything. In fact, few months ago when I went to Goa and stayed at the same place where I stayed with her few years ago (in fact I got the same room), I somehow felt good about the good old days.

 

Few of my friends still pull my leg asking “Bhai tu senti tho nahi hai na?” And I smile at them. The fact is that I’ve been with few other women after that and hardly even think about any of my past relationships.

 

Once, a very famous actor, who had had many relationships, and hence heartbreaks, was asked if he could name the one who he thought was the best. He simply smiled and said, ‘The next one.’

 

On a more serious note, its difficult to compare. From my first relationship till the last one, there have been highs and lows in each and everyone of them. And everyone was special. Its just that few of them had a bigger impact on my life then the others.

 

The first one will always be very special. I’ve hardly met a person who was liked by almost everyone. She was everyone’s darling and I’ve seen her making a difference in people’s life. Though we are hardly in touch but I know that she is doing well and is happy in life. And I know for sure that she wil not only be happy herself, but will make life better for everyone around her.

 

Once I started working, I dated a lot of women (I was trying to move on after the break up with the one whose birthday was on 30^th July). And trust me, I had a great time then. I was traveling a lot those days and I made friends all over. It was then that I met this lady for a coffee date. All I can say is that she was very very special. I have never been so relaxed and content in my life.

 

Okay - we are not here to discuss my girlfriends (to be honest, I dont even know the point I’m trying to make here – just felt like writing).

 

A very good friend of mine keep asking me which one is my favorite gift ( though I feel he has no right to ask me that specially when he himself has 4-5 watches gifted to him by his different girlfriends).

 

And to be honest, I don’t have a favorite. My Armani watch is as close to my heart as my Timex or Titan or Swatch or the Tommy. The Titto Bluni perfume bottle is still kept next to the Ferrari, CK and Hugo Boss perfumes. My 8 years old Rayban glasses are still as new as my Guess or the Polaroid Sunglasses.

 

They all are very close to my heart. But maybe the most precious one is a piece of paper which says, ‘Smile – someone loves you’. I’ve been carrying it in my wallet for more then 10 years now and it still makes me smile. 

 

I have my share of women (at times I was dumped after the first date itself All of them were different from each other (that means I still don’t know what am I looking for). From Pujabis to Sindhis to Bengali to Christan to even a Firang. From a student to a divorcee, from an air hostess to a news presenter. All different from each other. And if you ask me to tell you their birthdays - I can only say a few. I hardly remember 4-5 of them.

 

And thats why 30^th July was an important day. And why I chose to write about it is because nothing important or different happened that day. It went by like any other day. In fact, nobody even wished me happy birthday (till last year, my friends used to tease me). Everyone seems to have forgotten about this girlfriend of mine. They have new ones to tease me with. Maybe, next year even I’ll forget about it or will be busy preparing for somebody else’s birthday.

 

But who cares? I’m already thinking about my birthday. Last four years, I’ve spent my birthdays with four different women (never knowing that it would be my last birthday with her). I still have a couple of month to go before my birthday. And I’m still not sure whom to celebrate it with.

 

I haven’t celebrated my birthday with my parents for more then 10 years now. Maybe, the time has come to spend the whole day with them. Because the women might change every year, but they will always be with me on my birthday.

 Amen!