Pratyush loves watching “Balika Vadhu” with his Mom

I have been staying away from my parents for almost 15 – 16 years now. And when you live alone for so long, you get used to the independence that comes with living on your own (not that my parents ever asked questions – They always gave me the freedom to make my own choices).

 

So much so, that you get used to living alone. Infact, I realized that I couldn’t stay at home with my family around me beyond a point. I loved my freedom and independence.

 

I hardly get time to go home. And whenever I go, it’s a very short visit. But my Mom makes it a point to come and see me atleast once a year. She stays with me for around 10 days.

 

This time also, she came to Mumbai to meet me. Its almost a month now and I’ve postponed her tickets twice. For some reason, I just don’t want her to go. As mentioned above, I thought I’ll start missing my independence after a week of staying with her. But now I’m loving every moment of it. My lifestyle has changed dramatically in last 3-4 weeks and I’m enjoying life like never before.

In the first week, I cut down on my late nights deliberately and hardly went out.  But now, I just don’t feel like going out anymore. I rush back home after work. And I try to finish my work early. I love the look on Mom’s face when she opens the door to see me reach home early. I love it when she calls me in the afternoon to ask what will I eat for dinner (initially i didn’t see a point there). I love the taste of the tea which i get within 5 minutes of reaching home.

 

Till last month, I used to make it a point to reach home late, so that i could change and hit the bed directly. I used to go out, meet my friends, meet new people and most of the times, had dinner before reaching home after midnight.

 

But now, once I’m done with work, I head back home. My cousin and sister also reach home at the same time. We have tea together and then after some time we get the dinner (and there is no food like Mommy’s food). We all sit and watch “Big Boss” while having our dinner. Once that is done, My Mom watches this serial called “Balika Vadhu” on one of the channels. Initially, we used to sit and watch it with her to give her company (she wouldn’t watch it if she thinks we want to watch something else). But now, we all are so hooked up to that serial, that we all sit and watch it together. My sister and my cousin also fight over different characters in the serial.

 

Once its over, and my Mom makes sure that our bed is done, she heads to the other room to sleep. Its only then that I go out (if i have to) and meet friends for coffee or for for a drive.

 

Till around last month, I had this habit of talking or chatting on my phone till late night. Now, I avoid most of the calls, hardly reply to messages and never call anyone after midnight. And surprisingly, I sleep early these days.

 

Even if i have to go out, then I just go to show my face. i make it a point not to eat anything (because I know delicious food is waiting for me at home). I have a friend who loves (short) long drives in Mumbai’s late night traffic. At times, she “hijacks” me at around midnight to take me out for a drive or coffee. But that too, when my Mom goes to sleep. My friends tell me that I’ve become very “homely” these days. And to be honest, I’m loving it

 

There are few disadvantages also. Its difficult to talk on phone till late night if she is awake. These days, I miss EPL matches because we all watch “Big Boss” and “Balika Vadhu” instead. Initially I used to sleep very late thanks to my phone calls and messages. Now I sleep early most of the times. I dont miss the EPL matches either as i enjoy the serials equally.

 

The biggest disadvantage of my Mom being here is that I cannot get women home. I mean I can get them home for coffee or dinner, but thats about it. But even that is ok i guess. I’m ok with late night coffees and long drives for few more days till my Mom is here.

 

For some reason, I’m very happy being a nice homely guy – very different from an independent individual who, for years, loved his freedom. I’m ok about not watching EPL or Formula1 on TV, or not partying every alternate days, or not talking over phone till dawn or not getting women over for a night out.

 

For some reason, I’m very happy and content watching Balika vadhu with my Mom and sleep early to be woken up next day with a hot cup of tea – made exactly how i Like it.

 

The pursuit of happiness

 

Yesterday night, I saw Gabriele Muccino’s “The pursuit of happiness”, starring Will Smith and his son. This movie is inspired by a real life story of a man struggling to build his future and looking for happiness.

 

Apart from being an inspiring story, it also made me think about happiness and its definition. The Oxford dictionary defines happiness as the quality or state of being happy. But how do we know we are happy? I have thousands of issues in my life and at times feel let down by external forces.

 

And yesterday night, when i was thinking about it, i realized that though I’ve had my share of rough patches, God has generally been kind to me. Its just that we don’t realize the small little things that happen in our life and make it better then what it would have been without them.

 

In fact when i looked back at last couple of months, i realized that there have been few instances which have made life better for me every time i felt that the chips were down.

 

The other day, something happened and i was really sad. I was feeling terrible when suddenly Sampu called me up (though we are best friends, we hardly talk or meet on weekdays). We spoke for around 5 minutes when we decided to take Chopi on conference call.

 

Now, Chopi, Sampu and me have had some wild time together. We have shared each and everything about each other. Both of them are married now and Chopi is settled in Delhi. Last time when she came down, we had a great time and were partying till early morning (though we couldn’t talk much).

 

So, we took Chopi on Con Call and for next 2 hours, all three of us were just screaming and laughing. And when i kept the phone, i had forgotten everything that was making my life miserable early in the evening.

 

And this was just one of many such instances in the last couple of months when suddenly something has happened to change my mood and lift my spirits.

 

For eg. I had a friend who is an Air Hostess. We had almost lost touch. But suddenly, she’s started calling me almost everyday and even her flight schedules have changed. She does a lot of Mumbai bound flights and hence we meet more often now. And she is good fun to be with – the kind with whom you can forget everything and be yourself.

 

And then there is this really sweet woman who’s always in high spirits and has this uncanny knack of making me smile everytime I’m feeling low. She’s been a great company in the last couple of months – not to mention the new meaning she’s given to “long drives” in Mumbai traffic

 

And then i always have great friends like Ships and Nags whom I can call anytime and i know I’ll keep the phone smiling.

 

What I’m trying to say is – We all get our share of happiness in some form or other. Its just that we don’t realize that and remember the bad times. Infact, we take such good things in life for granted. We treat them as part of our daily life and treat the “not so good times” as an impostor. What we need to realize is that these are part of our everyday life and for every low, there is a high and vice versa.

 

And I’ve realized that I’m much more happy these days. At times i do think about people who are not part of my life anymore. But for every such person, I’ve someone else who’s become an integral part of my life now. At times I really miss talking to few people (specially before hitting the bed). But then again, I’ve new people to call at midnight and talk till dawn.

 

Life is not as complicated as we make it. Its just that we need to appreciate the small little good things in our lives. Happiness is around us. We just need to stop wasting our time thinking about the bad things that happened to us. Happiness is my right and nobody can take that away from me.